The Fatherhood Role

My son is three months old already. Somehow, that happened in the blink of an eye. I am forever grateful to have him. I’ve wanted a lot of things in my life, but being a Dad was at the top of the list.

I also have a 13-year-old step daughter. As of this writing (Sunday, December 14), her and I are going sledding.

It’s crazy to me how this is my life now. Only three years ago, I was a lonely alcoholic full-time musician living with his father. I drank and smoked and ate horrible food just spinning my wheels.

It’s funny to me how most of the cliches have presented themselves to me. The days are long but the years are short – Oh my God is that ever paramount. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree – my son is my spitting image, taking the physical traits of my stuck-out ears, butt chin and decibel breaking vocals.

They say being a parent changes you, and fuck yeah it does. It’s all for the better as well. I can’t help but be a little judgemental of other parents to be honest. If you have a child and look into their eyes and not completely make changes for them, I cannot comprehend.

I have no clue how a parent can smoke and drink after having children. I couldn’t fathom my son seeing me smoke a cigarette, knowing it causes cancer. If I did, I’m basically saying this addiction means more to me than being there for you.

I am super grateful that I quit drinking before becoming a parent. I have memories of my parents intoxicated, and, at the time, it didn’t seem to be an issue for me, but looking back it gave me the wrong idea about alcohol.

Listen, I am not a saint. I still partake in marijuana edibles about three times a week. I take a 10mg gummy around 9 o’clock when most of the parenting duties are complete and getting the little man to sleep is all that we have left. The more I think about it though, it’s another habit that I don’t really have the yearning for anymore.

I don’t know if I could forgive myself if my kids needed me and I was too intoxicated to help.

I definitely rebelled against becoming the man that I am now. I see it now, that I truly wanted this life so bad and was so upset that I didn’t have it yet.

There’s a song by the Warren Brothers that I used to love called “What We Can’t Have” and of course the tag line is that we all want what we can’t have. I used to sing that song passionately; it’s no wonder I was repelling the life I wanted. What a horrible message.

I didn’t get what I wanted on my own personal timeline, but I am living proof that it is never too late. Trin Potratz, family man.

My favourite moments are with the four humans and four fur babies under my roof. My fiancee and step daughter went Christmas shopping while my son and I stayed home. The boys watched some 90’s country music videos on YouTube before the little man decided it was a good time to nap. When the girls got home, they were laughing and smiling because they had such a good time together. That had been a rare occasion for some time.

I was watching an Oilers game, but I had promised a family movie night. So instead of finishing my game, we stopped it after the second period. My fiancee made popcorn while the step daughter and I entertained the little man. We watched “Guardians Of The Galaxy,” which is not my kind of movie, I think Marvel ruined cinema, but we had a blast. That raccoon is amazing!!!

I have a lot more on my plate than I ever did before. I have a lot of responsibilities, and not as much time for myself, but I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

I work a lot more than I ever did, and I spend a good chunk of my time at home writing for this blog. Everything I do, I do it for my family.

Luckily I have found a pretty good balance. I get to play hockey every second Friday night, I get to walk my dogs outside and listen to music or podcasts, and I get to play in my cover band.

Be very wary of the words “get” and “have”. I get to do all those things. If I ever catch myself saying I have to do those things, I won’t do them anymore, because they are not fulfilling me.

Being a mom looks hard. Being a dad is easy. I have the utmost respect for mothers. I had a great mother. My grandmothers are and were incredible people. To quote Jay Pritchett from Modern Family;

90 per cent of being a good Dad, is just showing up.

WHAT I’M LISTENING TO

“She Killed The Man” by Lee Brice is the best hook for a song I’ve heard from country music this decade. The 2020’s have been absolutely brutal for country music. If it weren’t for Dierks Bentley having new albums in this decade I would call it a complete and total dud, but the LB tune gives me hope.

Lee Brice is coming to my hometown in April, so I am ecstatic to go see his show. I haven’t been to a live music event in quite some time. “She Killed The Man” really resonates with me. I immediately thought of my fiancee when I first heard the song. She killed the man I used to be, and I am in the best place of my life.

To continue gushing about the love of my life, I have been listening to tunes trying to find our wedding song. “Six Feet Under” by Hardy was one of my first choices. I also have a strong affection for “Love Of A Woman” by Travis Tritt, but I think we finally found a winner.

It’s like I wrote it myself. The amount of times I have been at a loss when she tells me how much I mean to her…I would be so lost without her.

I think that’s what makes a perfect relationship; two people who think they are each the lucky one.

WHAT I’M READING

I work hard for my money, and I make a pretty darn good living. I would love to grow my little family by at least one more, and with that being stated, I would love to raise that family in a new home.

So I have started to crunch the numbers and put some steps in place to reaching the goal of buying a new house in three years. When I make up my mind to do something, I do the work.

I strongly believe in manifestation and the power of positive thinking of course, but I also know I have to more to obtain my goals. So I started reading David Bach’s “Start Late, Finish Rich,” (editor’s note- I snagged this bad boy for $2.25 at Goodwill!) and I have been re-reading (re-listening) to Jen Sincero’s “You Are A Bad Ass At Making Money.”

I used to have a terrible relationship with money, especially the cliche that “money is the root of all evil.” My parents made me believe that money made people bad people. While I do agree that a lot of rich people don’t use their money to help others, I know that that is not everybody.

I am going to make a lot of money to take care of family, but also to take care of my neighbours. There are many activist missions I would love to make a difference with; feed and clothe the homeless, rescue animals, rescue a family in dire need, random acts of kindness etc.

Money will help me to all those things. Money is necessary.

FINAL THOUGHTS

This blog has been an extremely rewarding initiative. I know exactly where it is leading me. It’s leading me to be an influence on the world.

I remember being a child and being asked what I wanted to be when I grow up. My answer back then was either NHL player or Country Music Superstar. Funnily enough, I am an NHL player every second Friday night, and I’m a country music superstar every time I get on stage.

I had to ask myself that same question recently. Hey, I love my day job, but that’s just a job. It’s not what I want to be. I don’t want to BE a plasma operator. I want to BE a hero. I know I already am to so many people, but I do not want to stop there.

I took an inventory on what my skills were and what my passions were and they all lead me to this. A self development blog. I’m a great writer. I’m a great speaker. I have a great work ethic. I have a passion for helping people. I have a passion for making the world a better place. I have a passion for getting others out of depression. A self development blog.

So maybe if you’re reading this, you are thinking about what you want to BE. I am proof that it is never too late. Hey, Alan Rickman didn’t start acting until he was in his mid twenties and didn’t get an iconic role until he was 42!

I recall when I was about 23, I was working as a cabinet installer assistant with my cousin, and we were working on these condos in the southern part of Calgary. During a coffee break, we were talking with a plumber in his late 50’s and he said, “I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I’ll figure it out someday.”

I loved that quote. Here was a man in his late 50’s who still knew he had time in life to do what he really wanted to do.

Right now, I am doing what I have to do until I can do what I want to do full time. I don’t know what the timeline is, but all I know is that I am going to enjoy the full ride!