“Your questions are false if you already know the answer.” -Jose Saramago, writer, 1998 Nobel Prize winner.

I noticed something about the self-help industry that made me pause. Is it necessary?? Does the self-help industry exist to actually help others? It’s a strange juxtaposition ain’t it?

Self-help literally means helping yourself. Yet, we seek it out to get the answers from somebody else. Aren’t we just searching for the validation that we are on the right track?

You do not start seeking the self-help industry if you don’t need help, or you believe you are already on the right track. So don’t you already know what you are looking for?

You’re looking for answers to solve something in your life. Unless you’re a narcissist or blissfully ignorant, you are seeking help for something you probably already have the answer to.

I saw a maddening post that made my blood boil. It was a Facebook post from Giste Wa Kabiro that said;

The easiest ways to get rich:

1. Sell men lust
2. Sell women beauty
3. Sell parents peace
4. Sell kids dreams
5. Sell the rich safety
6. Sell the broke hope

Get fucked. Especially the last one. What irks me the most is that is how so many rich and powerful people come to be. They prey on others.

That’s why I called this blog “Nobody Is Gonna Save You“, because I can only lead you to water, but I can’t make you drink. You save you.

If becoming successful means selling my soul and morals, then I don’t want to be.

In this industry, I believe most people can smell the bullshit from a mile away. So when I recommend an author or a book or a person, it’s because they/it passed the smell test for me. I hope I’m someone who has good instincts, but you should never trust somebody else if their suggestion doesn’t pass the smell test for you. Only you know you best.

NOTE: The reason I suggest Jen Sincero and “You Are A Bad Ass” first and foremost is because I love how genuine she is. Every interview and piece of content from her that I have consumed just aces the smell test. That woman is so real, and so inspiring. Every time I see that book in a thrift store, I have to buy it so I can put it in little libraries around my city.

Basically, what I am trying to say is that, deep down, you already have the answers that you are seeking.

When I decided I really wanted to become a successful person, I already knew what I had to do, I just wasn’t necessarily ready to do those things. I knew I had to quit drinking alcohol to become that person, I just wasn’t ready to give it up at the time.

When I finally felt ready, I made the change. My life is miles ahead of where I would be had I not.

When I was overweight and wanted to get in shape, I knew I couldn’t continue on the way I was. At my heaviest, I was 275 pounds, living on potato chips and spiced rum. I knew I would have to start working out and eating better to lose the weight.

Standing over a mirror and looking at my ugly body was all the motivation I needed. I sought out content that explained to me what my first step was. I already knew the answer, but I needed the validation.

How do you eat a whale? One bite at a time. How do you climb a mountain? One step at a time. How do you stay sober? One day at a time.

The first day I attempted to run to the end of my driveway, I didn’t make it. The next day, I did. The day after, I did it twice. I knew I wasn’t going to run a marathon right away, I had to build up to it. Crazy looking back at that time in my life, because today I can confidently run a 5K in around 27 minutes.

Even when I was married and my ex-wife and I were separated, I knew we needed to break up. We weren’t right for each other. I resented her more than I loved her, but I wasn’t ready to believe that.

I read a book called “The Dead Bedroom Fix” by DSO (Dad Starting Over), and at one point in the book DSO asked a series of questions about my wife, and blatantly said he is not trying to save anyone’s marriage, but to make the reader see if they actually want to save their marriage.

Instead of letting that light-bulb maintain its presence, I ignored it. I already knew the answer. My marriage was over. I could’ve saved myself so much time, but I stayed for longer than I should have.

Deep down we already know the answer to our questions. We seek out the self-help industry to solidify if we are doing the right thing.

I love so many authors and influencers because they have ways of saying the things I need to hear, but it still has to go through my filter.

Nobody is gonna save you, because you are the only one who can save you. Trust your gut! You’ve got this. And if you need a little help to get you there, that’s why you clicked on this article.