For those who don’t know me, my first dream has always been to become a Country Music superstar. I started singing at a very young age, and I was writing songs by the time I was 8. Today, I am lucky enough that I get paid to play music and for the past three years I have co-fronted a cover band called Great Northern Railway.

It wasn’t that long ago that I was ready to quit playing music altogether. My perception was that the industry….well frankly it sucks. It’s not about who is the most talented. It’s not about who works the hardest. It’s all about kissing the ring and selling your soul.

I’m not saying the only reason I’m not a huge superstar is because of those things. A lot of the industry is luck. Right place, right time. I just know that I am not the type to beg for stage time. I know how hard I work at it. I know how great my live show is. If people don’t see that, well that’s on them.

The music industry has been dumbed down so much that it’s getting difficult to decipher between AI songs and modern country for the most part. Streaming music has killed the album. That’s the biggest crime.

There was no better feeling than buying a CD at the store and popping it in on your drive home to listen to an artists latest 12 songs. I’d read the lyrics in the liner notes and I started to notice the names of the writers. Finding a song that hits you and then cheering for it to become a radio single was part of the fun.

Some of my most cherished songs are songs that almost nobody else really knows. Deep album cuts from superstars, barely charting singles from underrated artists, and lyrical masterpieces too deep for mainstream.

One song that I am excited to feature in a new show that I’m putting together is Alan Jackson’s “To Do What I Do”, written by Timothy Johnson. My favourite lyric is; I’ve played for empty tables and chairs / The drunks that don’t listen, the crowds that don’t care / Been told countless times, boy you ain’t goin’ nowhere. Every musician has had that moment. I’ve sung my heart out and performed like I was headlining Boots & Hearts, and when the last strum on my guitar rang out, nobody made a sound. But it’s all worth it, because that’s what I love to do.

There are nights when I’m on stage and I got the crowd in the palm of my hand. I’m playing the hits they all know, and I’m getting them to engage with me. Now, I believe I am a pretty humble guy, but I also know when I’m really good at something. Performing is something that came natural to me.

I have struggled with social anxiety for as long as I can remember. When I started drinking alcohol, I found out that this magical substance cured that social anxiety. Now that I’m coming up on two years alcohol free, I consider myself to be a little socially autistic. However, all that goes away when I’m up on stage.

I barely ever get nervous when it comes to performing. It’s strange. While one of the greatest common fears is public speaking, it’s something I have always felt calm doing. You’ve heard the Jerry Seinfeld joke right?

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death… This means… you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” -Jerry Seinfeld

I’m a little ashamed to admit that I get a little upset when I get passed over for certain gigs, because I know I’m better than most at engaging a crowd. There are venues that I have played before and I’ve gotten paid really well to do it. I haven’t been back because the pay was lowered and I didn’t find it worth my time. It may come off as arrogant, but I believe it’s their loss, and I know my own worth. It took a lot of therapy and convincing myself to be okay with knowing my own worth.

Now, I love composing and creating music more than most. When I look through my catalogue, I am truly proud of every song I have ever written. Some songs I forget about, and then I revisit and I fall in love with them all over again. Maybe it’s an ego thing. I have struggled with finding the balance between pride and narcissism. When it comes to the songs I write, it could go either way.

I’d guess over half of my songs are ballads. Another 40% of them are power ballads. Maybe 5% of them are upbeat. What you won’t find are what I call “mad-lib country” songs. You know those songs, they are flooding the radio. Comedian Bo Burnham described them best in his “Country Song” parody.

“A dirt road, a cold beer, a blue jeans, a red pickup, a rural noun, simple adjective.” -Bo Burnham

I remember when country music started veering off into that territory. I was as locked in to the latest releases around 2012 when Florida Georgia Line hit the radio waves with their smash “Cruise”. It’s catchy AF. I was caught up in the bro-country era and I’m guilty as anyone for making it a successful sub-genre.

I remember my Uncle’s and others from the generation above me who I considered to be out of touch with music taste. Had I only heeded their warnings.

Now, music taste is subjective for sure, and if you like something I don’t like, that’s your prerogative. All I’m saying is, it’s music like this that is killing everything I love about it.

When I think of the songs that have changed my life, I think of the following;

• Life Off My Years by Lee Brice (written by Eric Church, Jeff Hyde, and Michael Heeney)
• The Extra Mile by Emerson Drive (written by Bonnie J Baker and Paul Sikes)
• Don’t Ask Me How I Know by Bobby Pinson (written by Bart Butler, Bobby Pinson and Brett Jones)
• Some Of It by Eric Church (written by Eric Church, Bobby Pinson, Clint Daniels, and Jeff Hyde)
• Freedom by Kenny Chesney (written by William Luther and Tom Douglas)
• A Rock by Hardy (written by Jake Mitchell, Hardy and Smith Ahnquist)
• What I Can’t Talk About by Gary Allan (written by Jim Beavers, Lindsay Jack Rimes, and Matt Rogers)
• Good Dogs by Jameson Rodgers (written by Jake Mitchell, Brent Anderson, Hunter Phelps and Jameson Rodgers)
• Fighting by Tyler Joe Miller (written by Tyler Joe Miller, David William Faber, William Swinimer, and Wesley Macinnes)
• The River Just Knows by Rodney Atkins (written by Annie Tate, Sam Tate, and Dave Berg)
• Riser by Dierks Bentley (written by Steven Thomas Moakler and Travis Meadows)
• Mountains by Lonestar (written by Richie McDonald, Larry Boone, and Paul Nelson)
• 1,000 Faces by Randy Montana (written by Randy Montana and Tom Douglas)
• You’re Not My God by Keith Urban (written by Keith Urban and Paul Jefferson)
• The Driver by Charles Kelley, Eric Paslay, and Dierks Bentley (written by Charles Kelley, Eric Paslay, and Abe Stoklasa)

If you come and see my live show and I tell you how much a song means to me and why, you will see it in my performance. I was rehearsing the other day singing one of the songs on the list, and I still get goosebumps. That’s what music is supposed to do.

Art matters. In the world of AI and dumbed down content, it is more important than ever. Unfortunately music has taken the biggest hit. It’s become corporate. It’s all about money and no longer about the art.

Now, I still like to believe there’s a place for my music in the world. I was blind in believing the story that I would eventually have to sacrifice my morals for success. I don’t want to believe that story anymore.

If one of my songs touches just one person’s soul, I will consider it a win. Friday night, J4 Performance in Spirit River, will be the first of its kind of shows for me! Barring my soul and playing the kind of music that I want to play. I’m a driver. I’m a dreamer. I’m the singer.