“Take action in order to move toward your goals.” -Les Brown, Motivational Speaker

The reason I called this blog Nobody Is Gonna Save You is because somewhere along my journey I realized nobody was gonna hold my hand and walk me through life. It could only be me. That doesn’t mean external sources can’t help, however.

I go to therapy. I exercise. I listen to podcasts. I read books. These are all things that can help me. 

I talk to people. I seek out advice from those who I believe can give me good advice. 

None of those things help me unless I use the tools they hand me. 

I can go to therapy every day. But if I don’t do the work in between sessions it won’t help. If I’m not completely honest and transparent during my sessions, I’m not gonna get the right tools. And trust me, it’s hard to cut plywood with a pair of scissors. 

I exercise. It’s my most useful antidepressant. On days when I don’t get exercise, I feel the darkness peaking in, so I have made it my mission to get some form of exercise every day. Lately, my exercise has been quite aimless, but that’s not how I am going to let it stay going forward. If I want abs I can’t just walk my dogs and eat potato chips and expect to get a washboard stomach. I have to do ab workouts and really watch my diet. Abs are made in the kitchen, not the gym. Well, at least that’s what I’ve heard….

I listen to so many uplifting, informative, and motivational podcasts that give me tons of tools to get the results I’m looking for. Same thing with the books I read. But if I don’t utilize the tools they give me, I’m not getting anything done. 

I used to be really bad at taking advice. Basically I fell into the trap that had me only seeking the advice I wanted to hear. The advice that would validate my own thoughts. If somebody I respected told me I was in the wrong or doing something destructive, I didn’t want to hear it. I considered their advice to be wrong. Shockingly, I didn’t improve until I started listening to people who gave me tough love rather than kid gloves. 

I truly believe having goals is essential to making life worthwhile. So first things first, if you find yourself just going through the motions, you’re not really living. If you find yourself without goals, the first goal of yours should be to set some.

If you do have goals, great! Now you know what you want, the next step is to make a plan. And be specific. I can’t count how many influential people I’ve listened to say that specificity is essential to seeing your goals through. After you have that, it’s time to figure out how to make them happen, and then YOU and only YOU have to action. I wrote about this practice in my New Year’s Resolutions Post.

The reason you have to be specific is because you may be setting the bar too low and too easy to reach. If you say you want to lose weight, and you lose a single pound, you did it. If you say you want to make more money, and you find a quarter on the ground, you did it. If you say you want to eat healthier, and you take steamed veggies on the side instead of fries, you did it. But I’m willing to bet you’d rather lose 25 pounds, double your income, and stick to a strict diet.

Let’s say you are finally sick of not being in shape. What’s the first thing you do? You probably get a gym membership and say you’re going to start going. You go a couple of times, and then you skip a day. Or you work out too hard and too fast the first time and you down a ton of calories after you get home to negate all the progress you just made.

This is what happens when you set a goal aimlessly. And I’m not shaming something I don’t know anything about. I’ve set this goal time and time again and it didn’t work until I was really ready to take action.

I’ve donated hundreds of dollars to gyms that I didn’t walk into for months. I’d put in a good workout and reward myself with a bag of potato chips. I’ve whined and bitched that my buddy just has a better metabolism than me.

When I finally got in shape, I took action and followed the steps. I wasn’t overweight, but I was a little pudgy. Basically rocking the Dad-Bod that included the alcoholic flabby body fat, especially around my face. I decided I wanted to get down to a lean-muscle build and tip the scale at 190. I researched foods that would boost my energy and would be essential for building lean muscle and losing body fat. I determined I would get a gym membership at Orange Theory after researching that it was the kind of motivation and community I wanted to be around. I said I would do 100 classes. Done. Check.

Today, I find myself with a Dad-Bod but at least I am a Dad now hahaha. And I can’t be spending extra money and time away from my family to get in better shape. So, I have to find a way to meet my physical goals another way. I have a treadmill. I have weights. I have spare time when I doom-scroll on my phone. Nobody is gonna hold my hand here, I know what I have to do.

Ask yourself, what do you want in your life? What is it you want to accomplish? What do you want to change? What do you want to improve upon? Whatever it is, there is a way to do it. You can find all the resources, and take in all the advice, but it is you and ONLY YOU who can take action to get it done.

Nobody is gonna save you, but you are the deciding factor in unlocking all that life has to offer.